[he turns his body a bit, reaching out to pat Konpeito who is still in Pavlova's lap. they look so happy to be there. Stardust raises his eyes to look at Pavlova's face]
What I mean is, mmn... I value your opinions. You do not have to know about Earthbread to know what we're dealing with here, correct? As I've said before, I've barely spent any time on Earthbread, myself. I'm here now, and you've been here longer than me. So, anything I can learn from you would be... helpful.
[there's plenty of time to learn about Cookies from Pavlova's friends, too. but Stardust would prefer to learn other things from Pavlova!]
[Stardust is surprised by the sudden hand on his own. he isn't expecting it, but it makes him feel very warm. no one's ever held his hand before, not comforting, like that.
he almost does not know what to say, he just stares at their hands for several seconds before looking back up at Pavlova's face]
...Then, I'd like to keep talking to you. I enjoy... your company.
[he's relieved. he thought Pavlova might hate him!]
They're family actually. My father, step-father and step-mother.
[ Not quite the same. ]
And I have made a couple friends here, but... I'm still figuring out how to approach them after breaking the enchantment. They don't seem too bothered, at least.
[ They also are not from their world, which is what he'd been referring to. ]
[ Shouldn't doesn't mean they won't. He's seen how vicious people can be both inside and outside of the Garden. He knows that it not being purposeful doesn't always hold weight. At least it's been enough time now that he's starting to think people won't be too terribly judgmental.
He's not going to tell anyone more than the bare minimum though. ]
I guess so. I'm not the only one who's had weird things happen. That doesn't make it feel any less overwhelming though. Like people are staring even if they aren't.
[ Even so, he responds to the squeeze with one of his own. It's nice... to feel supported like this. ]
[Stardust at least had the support of many stars before, even if they were all misguided at one point. but holding hands, like this? offering someone else comfort? it's very new. Stardust likes it, though. he looks away, tilting his head upwards]
I'm sorry... I Do not know what else to say in these circumstances. But, if you ever wish to tell me more, just know that I won't judge you.
[he wouldn't, anyway, but he also doesn't have that right. he's done bad things. he's harbored ill-will. he's been suspicious, jealous]
[ 'i won't judge you' he says. Pavlova hesitates, then looks to him ]
I could be evil, you know. I could have hurt or crumbled cookies, or worse. Are you sure you wouldn't judge me?
[ Stardust would be fully within his right to, but that's the point. Saying he won't when he knows nothing about him... is setting himself up for failure. ]
[fortunately, for Stardust, not a single Wizard remained in the City. there were some Cookies, but they were unharmed. Stardust, himself, was the only one who got hurt, in the end]
Mm, well... to make a long story short, they were originally Cookies created to embody certain virtues to lead and protect cookiekind, but they all became corrupted, driven mad by their own virtues in one way or another.
Two of them baked me, and I served for thousands of years as my mother's right hand. Which meant I watched and helped her imprison who knows how many cookies within her garden under the pretense of keeping them safe and happy.
[ Not to mention that he was just as much a prisoner. It's hard to excuse himself with that knowing how much fun he had with some of it. How comfortable he became with the pecking order. ]
[the Garden again. Stardust's eyes soften, and he glances away, his eyes coming to rest on that little cage. Konpeito is silent, getting cozy in Pavlova's lap and apparently trying to comfort him in their own way]
A Cookie that baked their own Cookies... To use them as servants.
[their own son. absolutely vile. no wonder Pavlova did not count his family members as friends]
To be fair to them, they did treat me like their son up until things started to fall apart. My fondest memories are from when I was a child and my father would visit.
[ That was a very long time ago now, though. ]
I can't really say how she thought of me after she created the garden and kept me and all her subjects inside, but I became the gatekeeper and called her master from there on, so...
[ Whatever her feelings and intentions, he did end up as a means to an end. He tries not to think about that too much. ]
[the more Stardust hears, the more conflicted he feels. these Beast Cookies. he doesn't know anything about them, and he's already making assumptions. Pavlova Cookie said his father was here, right? so... what is their relationship like now?
he squeezes Pavlova's hand again, before he lets go]
The point is, I still will not judge you. If I have questions, or concerns, it only means... It means that I am worried about you. It doesn't mean I am judging you. I promise.
[ That he still insists on not judging him is a little surprising, but he looks down to his lap and pets Konpeito gently, scratching behind their ears. ]
Alright...
[ He's not sure he deserves that, but he's at least used to that being the response. Luca and Ain both fussed over him a bit after hearing what he's been through. Not to mention his step parents. ]
[there isn't anything to be happy about in this conversation, but Stardust feels satisfied all the same. he did what he wanted to do, so he will get out of Pavlova's hair.
with a nod, he rises to his feet, and Konpeito gives one more nuzzle to the angel before hopping up, too]
I shall. Again, I apologize for my tasteless game-question. I'll know better next time.
[because, of course, there will be a next time. he wants to play more games with Pavlova!]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[he turns his body a bit, reaching out to pat Konpeito who is still in Pavlova's lap. they look so happy to be there. Stardust raises his eyes to look at Pavlova's face]
What I mean is, mmn... I value your opinions. You do not have to know about Earthbread to know what we're dealing with here, correct? As I've said before, I've barely spent any time on Earthbread, myself. I'm here now, and you've been here longer than me. So, anything I can learn from you would be... helpful.
[there's plenty of time to learn about Cookies from Pavlova's friends, too. but Stardust would prefer to learn other things from Pavlova!]
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[ Is that what he was trying to get at? He was wondering why he was taking that so seriously. He hadn't realized there was a topic shift. ]
I'm... not sure why you value my opinions over anyone else's, but I never retracted my help. I'll still tell you things. I'm not mad at you.
[ If only to emphasize his point, he rests a hand on Stardust's own, giving it a squeeze. ]
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he almost does not know what to say, he just stares at their hands for several seconds before looking back up at Pavlova's face]
...Then, I'd like to keep talking to you. I enjoy... your company.
[he's relieved. he thought Pavlova might hate him!]
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I worry how people will react when they find out, sometimes. It wasn't my choice, but that doesn't always matter.
[ As an explanation for why he hid. ]
... But if it doesn't bother you, then it would be nice. I enjoy your company as well. It's been a while since I've been friends with someone.
[ As much as he wanted to count Sugarfly, he doesn't know how she feels about anything now that she's left. ]
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Aren't the other Cookies here... your friends?
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[ Not quite the same. ]
And I have made a couple friends here, but... I'm still figuring out how to approach them after breaking the enchantment. They don't seem too bothered, at least.
[ They also are not from their world, which is what he'd been referring to. ]
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They shouldn't be. This is the real you, isn't it?
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It is, but they knew me as child. It's a pretty drastic change. I'm not exactly the same as I was personality-wise.
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[he turns his hand to hold Pavlova's hand, giving it a squeeze of his own]
It wasn't your fault. And I don't think other beings should... hold that against you.
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[ Shouldn't doesn't mean they won't. He's seen how vicious people can be both inside and outside of the Garden. He knows that it not being purposeful doesn't always hold weight. At least it's been enough time now that he's starting to think people won't be too terribly judgmental.
He's not going to tell anyone more than the bare minimum though. ]
I guess so. I'm not the only one who's had weird things happen. That doesn't make it feel any less overwhelming though. Like people are staring even if they aren't.
[ Even so, he responds to the squeeze with one of his own. It's nice... to feel supported like this. ]
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I'm sorry... I Do not know what else to say in these circumstances. But, if you ever wish to tell me more, just know that I won't judge you.
[he wouldn't, anyway, but he also doesn't have that right. he's done bad things. he's harbored ill-will. he's been suspicious, jealous]
no subject
[ 'i won't judge you' he says. Pavlova hesitates, then looks to him ]
I could be evil, you know. I could have hurt or crumbled cookies, or worse. Are you sure you wouldn't judge me?
[ Stardust would be fully within his right to, but that's the point. Saying he won't when he knows nothing about him... is setting himself up for failure. ]
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...I have leveled an entire city in my anger. Why would I judge you, if I am just as bad?
[his expression is very serious. he has not told anyone else about this yet, and he probably won't unless it comes up]
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Assuming there were people in the city, I'm not sure which of us would have more jam on their hands.
You know who the Beast Cookies are, don't you?
[ If not he would have to give... quite the history lesson. He's not sure he's up for the messy details of that just yet. ]
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I do not.
[should he?]
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Mm, well... to make a long story short, they were originally Cookies created to embody certain virtues to lead and protect cookiekind, but they all became corrupted, driven mad by their own virtues in one way or another.
Two of them baked me, and I served for thousands of years as my mother's right hand. Which meant I watched and helped her imprison who knows how many cookies within her garden under the pretense of keeping them safe and happy.
[ Not to mention that he was just as much a prisoner. It's hard to excuse himself with that knowing how much fun he had with some of it. How comfortable he became with the pecking order. ]
no subject
A Cookie that baked their own Cookies... To use them as servants.
[their own son. absolutely vile. no wonder Pavlova did not count his family members as friends]
no subject
To be fair to them, they did treat me like their son up until things started to fall apart. My fondest memories are from when I was a child and my father would visit.
[ That was a very long time ago now, though. ]
I can't really say how she thought of me after she created the garden and kept me and all her subjects inside, but I became the gatekeeper and called her master from there on, so...
[ Whatever her feelings and intentions, he did end up as a means to an end. He tries not to think about that too much. ]
The point is, I've done some terrible things.
no subject
he squeezes Pavlova's hand again, before he lets go]
The point is, I still will not judge you. If I have questions, or concerns, it only means... It means that I am worried about you. It doesn't mean I am judging you. I promise.
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[ That he still insists on not judging him is a little surprising, but he looks down to his lap and pets Konpeito gently, scratching behind their ears. ]
Alright...
[ He's not sure he deserves that, but he's at least used to that being the response. Luca and Ain both fussed over him a bit after hearing what he's been through. Not to mention his step parents. ]
Go for it, then.
no subject
with a nod, he rises to his feet, and Konpeito gives one more nuzzle to the angel before hopping up, too]
I shall. Again, I apologize for my tasteless game-question. I'll know better next time.
[because, of course, there will be a next time. he wants to play more games with Pavlova!]