[ ... For the sake of not starting a fight he'll refrain from mentioning he never used to have to do that with him. The situation was different then and the Fount had far less to hide from him to begin with. ]
... You're a lot more than that. You always have been.
[ What is it he said? The best lies hold a drop of truth? Every mask holds a piece of his father. He's just so fragmented now he can't tell how they fit together.
... his wings, clipped as they are, move to hug him as well. ]
But it's okay. I know you won't believe me.
[ ... too hard to accept, even from someone who inherited a piece of Knowledge itself. ]
I just don't want you to think you have to play a part for me y'know?
[A good call, probably. The Fount is still a touchy subject for him, in very complicated ways. He would never want to take that out on Pavlova, but his emotions can wildly swing one way to the next.]
[But then, Pavlova says all that and, knowing he has the view he does into his heart, makes him lock up in surprise. He wants to protest, put on another act, perhaps even act rudely, coldly, and dismiss his words entirely. There's that part of him that riles up, the wild animal that bites when it feels cornered.]
[But he steps outside of it for a moment, and settles back down. Takes in that last part of his words and sighs a little.]
...You'll have to forgive your father, the mask is as much for me as it is for you.
[ No fuss, no pushing. Pavlova is a stubborn cookie, but he knows when to let up for his own sake as well as others'. Hollyberry needed the prodding, Shadow Milk would bite if prodded.
Instead he snuggles quietly into his father. Because no matter what role he felt like playing, the fact he was his dad remained. ]
... you startled me when you showed up at the Garden but... I did miss you. I was happy you were okay.
[And he looks relieved, for a moment, that Pavlova has let that go for now. Perhaps someday in the future, it will be easier for him to set aside his little acts, but right now they're a desperate coping mechanism for normalcy. Especially with the way grief is still churning through his system like a poison.]
[Vanilla what the fuck is he supposed to do now? He's not the kind parental figure you were, how does he not destroy this with his own two hands like he has done so much already?]
The Witches themselves couldn't defeat us properly, it will take a whooooole army of them to crumble me, you know!
[But after a moment he leans, putting a tentative arm around him, drawing him in closer.]
Despite the nature of this place, I'm glad to see you safe and sound.
[ He's not privy to Shadow Milk's turmoil. Not exactly. He can sense the grief radiating off that one frayed string, but that's been constant since he arrived.
He does crack a little smile when his father says that. As though he hadn't gotten his ass handed to him by that former god. He won't point that out. Shadow Milk knows he knows and he still... looks up to him. He still trusts his ability to protect him ]
I know. My dad's the best.
[ ... That isn't a lie. ]
It was still scary. I remember when it happened. Getting sealed. I didn't know what was happening but Master had me and Sugarfly go into her jewelry box and... that's where we were stuck.
[ he had no idea what happened to his father for so long. Of course he was worried.
His father pulls him close and Pavlova lets his eyes close, arms wrapping around his father and tucking his face against him. ]
[Truth can be painful in so very many ways, and he is so intimately aware of all of them. There is a unique terror he feels when Pavlova says this to him, with all his heart, his sincerity. It was similar to when Pure Vanilla had said it to him, too, though at the time he had been in a wretched state of mind, had lashed out violently.]
[That isn't what's going to happen here, though something rises up in him that feels horror. Guilt almost. Is that love for him? Truly? Or is it actually for the Fount? Does Pavlova not realize they're different? No, they aren't, says a small voice, deep within his soul. He wants to twist this around so badly, warp it until it's Deceit, but he can't. He's left feeling bewildered, instead.]
[Shadow Milk's response is to take long, shuddering breath.]
[Is it possible for him to be loved, even with Pure Vanilla gone? Is there really anyone else out there besides Pure Vanilla that could?]
[Shadow Milk doesn't speak a response, but he does pull Pavlova in closer, tightly, possessively, and tries to smother what definitely sounds like a heaving sob so Pavlova doesn't notice. While he fails at words, Pavlova might be given the impression, mentally, as if Shadow Milk had floated the thought into his head himself, that he might return the sentiment.]
[ Whether he notices the sob or not, the boy's wings wrap around his father as though the delicate little things could protect him from anything meaningful. He at least doesn't seem to mind the tight hold.
His love is for his father, whatever form he chooses to take. He doesn't love just one mask, he loves all of them.
Maybe that could be seen as foolish, but he doesn't really care. So far all of them have been sweet to him.
The implication of a returned sentiment is good enough for him right now. Pavlova may not be Pure Vanilla, but in a platonic sense his love wasn't going anywhere. ]
... I know things are difficult but I... I'm glad you're my dad. I wouldn't want anyone else.
[ He doesn't say more, though, with Shadow milk so overwhelmed, but he needs to know that much. So he can stop looking so nervous, like he's doing something wrong whenever they talk. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
... You're a lot more than that. You always have been.
[ What is it he said? The best lies hold a drop of truth? Every mask holds a piece of his father. He's just so fragmented now he can't tell how they fit together.
... his wings, clipped as they are, move to hug him as well. ]
But it's okay. I know you won't believe me.
[ ... too hard to accept, even from someone who inherited a piece of Knowledge itself. ]
I just don't want you to think you have to play a part for me y'know?
no subject
[But then, Pavlova says all that and, knowing he has the view he does into his heart, makes him lock up in surprise. He wants to protest, put on another act, perhaps even act rudely, coldly, and dismiss his words entirely. There's that part of him that riles up, the wild animal that bites when it feels cornered.]
[But he steps outside of it for a moment, and settles back down. Takes in that last part of his words and sighs a little.]
...You'll have to forgive your father, the mask is as much for me as it is for you.
no subject
[ No fuss, no pushing. Pavlova is a stubborn cookie, but he knows when to let up for his own sake as well as others'. Hollyberry needed the prodding, Shadow Milk would bite if prodded.
Instead he snuggles quietly into his father. Because no matter what role he felt like playing, the fact he was his dad remained. ]
... you startled me when you showed up at the Garden but... I did miss you. I was happy you were okay.
no subject
[Vanilla what the fuck is he supposed to do now? He's not the kind parental figure you were, how does he not destroy this with his own two hands like he has done so much already?]
The Witches themselves couldn't defeat us properly, it will take a whooooole army of them to crumble me, you know!
[But after a moment he leans, putting a tentative arm around him, drawing him in closer.]
Despite the nature of this place, I'm glad to see you safe and sound.
no subject
He does crack a little smile when his father says that. As though he hadn't gotten his ass handed to him by that former god. He won't point that out. Shadow Milk knows he knows and he still... looks up to him. He still trusts his ability to protect him ]
I know. My dad's the best.
[ ... That isn't a lie. ]
It was still scary. I remember when it happened. Getting sealed. I didn't know what was happening but Master had me and Sugarfly go into her jewelry box and... that's where we were stuck.
[ he had no idea what happened to his father for so long. Of course he was worried.
His father pulls him close and Pavlova lets his eyes close, arms wrapping around his father and tucking his face against him. ]
I love you, dad.
[ Truth. ]
no subject
[That isn't what's going to happen here, though something rises up in him that feels horror. Guilt almost. Is that love for him? Truly? Or is it actually for the Fount? Does Pavlova not realize they're different? No, they aren't, says a small voice, deep within his soul. He wants to twist this around so badly, warp it until it's Deceit, but he can't. He's left feeling bewildered, instead.]
[Shadow Milk's response is to take long, shuddering breath.]
[Is it possible for him to be loved, even with Pure Vanilla gone? Is there really anyone else out there besides Pure Vanilla that could?]
[Shadow Milk doesn't speak a response, but he does pull Pavlova in closer, tightly, possessively, and tries to smother what definitely sounds like a heaving sob so Pavlova doesn't notice. While he fails at words, Pavlova might be given the impression, mentally, as if Shadow Milk had floated the thought into his head himself, that he might return the sentiment.]
no subject
His love is for his father, whatever form he chooses to take. He doesn't love just one mask, he loves all of them.
Maybe that could be seen as foolish, but he doesn't really care. So far all of them have been sweet to him.
The implication of a returned sentiment is good enough for him right now. Pavlova may not be Pure Vanilla, but in a platonic sense his love wasn't going anywhere. ]
... I know things are difficult but I... I'm glad you're my dad. I wouldn't want anyone else.
[ He doesn't say more, though, with Shadow milk so overwhelmed, but he needs to know that much. So he can stop looking so nervous, like he's doing something wrong whenever they talk. ]